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MAKE A LISTBe Happy in LIFE Inspiration - May 2009In personal development, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
On our way home, Eden told me I had been very cruel to those women, because finding 100 things is too hard. "Why do you always say 100 when you ask people to make a list?" she asked and I thought it was a valid question. In all my life coaching programs for kids, parents, couples or just people who want to be happy, my clients make many lists. Why 100 things? Why 100?I guess the reason I say 100 is because 100 is a lot. The 100 things technique was something I learned during my special education studies. To get the kids' creative juices flowing, we asked them to find uses for a blank sheet of paper or a shoe lace, to build something from 100 parts, and the list was huge. Although it seemed to most people that thinking of 100 things is easy, I guess you need to actually do it to realize that the first 10 come easily, the next 10 are a bit harder, items 20 to 40 are even harder still and for anything beyond 50, you need to dig deep into your brain and be really creative to complete the list. The kids who were naturally more open than grownups (and less experienced) had many quiet moments, as if going to places in their brain they did not use much. Those were the places where creativity resides.
Another reason we use 100 is because it is like a competition with ourselves. My explanations did not help my daughter. Four years later, she still thinks I use 100 just because it is a nice number… 100 Life Skills ListsPersonal development is the science of improving ourselves towards happiness , contentment and living with purpose. If we want to reach a peak state, we must know what it is. If someone wants to be happy, they first need to find out what makes them happy. If someone wants to be kind, they first need to know what their definition of kindness is… You get the idea, right? If you have just figured out why you do not get what you want in life, well done! If you do not know exactly what you want in life, you will never get it, because even if you did, you would not know it. In the next year, I will elaborate on the 100 list that appears on the Be happy in LIFE life coaching program. I will take each list and provide ideas and tips to complete each of the lists here at the bottom. The 10 rules of list making(I didn't think you would survive 100 rules and 10 is a nice number too…)
List of a 100 listsBelow is a list of 100 list ideas you can choose from. Note that most things on the list have a positive focus. I have added only some self-awareness lists like "things I am afraid of", because they can help you move forward. Keep in mind the Be Happy in LIFE philosophy - looking forward to a happy and positive future should always be the main focus. To use the 100 list technique with kids , choose positive and character-building lists, like "ways to be kind" or "examples of success" and make the list shorter (start with 10 for very young kids and add as your kids grow older. Making lists together with your kids is a great idea. Make your own list while your kids are making theirs. Talking about it can help everyone understand one another.
As you can see from the list above, some of the lists will take you to the past and examine your perception of what has happened to you. Some lists will take you to your inner-self, where honesty and self-assessment is required, but most will take you to the place you want to be, the person you want to be. And there, where desires and action combine, lies your true potential. And if you think like my daughter that 100 is too much, remember that in personal development, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Happy list making,
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One day, I took my daughter Eden, who was 16 years old at the time, to a workshop I ran with a group of women about life skills and relationships. When we reached the positive thinking and happiness part of the workshop, I asked everyone to go home and think of a 100 things that would make them happy. 
So one reason we use 100 is because we want to get to those places, where we do not go often. 
Pick the list that will be most meaningful to you (see below) and avoid making multiple lists at the same time 
100 things I would say about myself if I had to present myself to an unknown person 
100 good things I can say about my parents 
100 rules I follow 
100 things I would do if I could do magic 
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